Ol' Clare Bear

Just when you think your kids aren't paying attention, guess what.
On Friday night I was spending a little time with Addie, as has been custom lately. Ann and I have both tried very hard to make sure that Addie gets a little extra attention since her older sister is out doing things that she can't do all the time. She reads, she kicks butt in the spots she tries, and I'm sure Addie is always hearing her get accolades showered on her from both of us.
But Friday night, apparently, Clare had seen and heard enough.
I don't even remember what she initially complained about, and by the time I came up to her bedroom to try and help calm her down, she was in tears. As I explained to her that whatever it was wasn't a big deal, she said (through sniffles and tears) "i'm not upset about that anymore".
So... what exactly is causing THIS meltdown I wondered..
Then she tells me that I'm just not spending enough time with her like I am with Addie.
I was instantly sent packing on the worst kind of guilt trip. My oldest daughter, the one whom I feel most connected to in lots of ways, just told me that I basically wasn't paying attention to her.
Every ounce of frustration I had about her behavior evaporated. I sat next to her on her bed and asked what she thought would be fun for us to do together. You know, give daddy a chance to make it up. Turns out, she really wanted to do some reading. She's been getting amazing marks for her skills in class, and we've listened to her read more and more complicated books all throughout this school year. So I told her I would be glad to get her up first on Saturday morning (knowing full well that Clare is the latest sleeper of the family, so when we wake would be completely up to me) and we could spend a little time reading downstairs by ourselves before anyone else got up. It would be perfect.. put on a pot of coffee, enjoy the silence of the house and just hang out with my Bear.
Fast forward just a few hours. I had turned off BOTH alarms for the weekend, meaning the 4:55 am workout alarm and the 6:00 "you better get your ass out of bed now" alarm.
I feel a tap on my shoulder, and as I roll over I see Clare standing next to the bed, "heart blankie" in hand, with a look that could melt anyone's heart. Oh, she can't wait to read! How sweet... then I look at the clock.
6:00.
WTF.
Seriously? This was not part of the plan. For a brief moment I shout inside my head something about wanting JUST ONCE to be able to sleep in on Saturday morning. The girls' soccer game wasn't even supposed to happen until 11:30 for crying out loud.
But again, in a flash I was all in Clare Bear mode. I slid out of bed and we made our way downstairs as Ann and Addie slept.
Despite the shockingly-early hour, it was a great time to just relax and listen to Clare reading, share some stories and enjoy the utter absence of chaos and noise. And even though I did feel my head gravitating toward to couch cushions a few times, the coffee helped keep me upright.
That, and spending some quality time with my first-born.